Howard Wright

When he says he is skint, he wants a drink,
but will always pay you back in kind.

When he says he has laid a bet,
the odds are he will win and blow the lot.

And when he says the weather would freeze him,
he wears five layers just in case - plus hoodie.

When he says he has been up all night,
he has been watching rock anthems on VH1.

When he says he hasn't smoked in six weeks,
he means he hasn't smoked his own.

And when he says he is 'fucking blocked',
he had one in Lavery's and one in Auntie Annie's.

When he says he has a thousand records
in the house, he means he won't sell any of them.

When he says his mother is pushing ninety,
he means you can bury him beside her.

And when he says he would have stayed in tonight,
he means there was only 'fucking crap' on tv.

When he says he hates hospitals,
he should know as he has been in all four.

When he says he won't be dancing again,
he means he wishes he was your age.

And when he says he wishes he were your age,
he still does everything you do with no worries.

He gets lost in the bouncing, sympathetic crowd,
and when he says there are too many

old girlfriends out there, he means he hopes
to meet one, once again, who will take him home.

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